Death slide

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

spon·ta·ne·i·ty

1

: the quality or state of being spontaneous

2

: voluntary or undetermined action or movement; also : its source

I envy the people who could have fun and live each of their days to the fullest. Those who have the ability to just let go, be crazy, and have total disregard of how people would judge them.

Though I can be a deviant - all of us have the innate ability to be one. I've learned to control my actions in order to stop upsetting the people around me.

I've been like this for so long that I feel like a robot. I talk when spoken to. I stand when I'm asked to. I do my school work without being told. I'm the all average Miss little goody two shoes. You get the picture, right?

It's just been fairly recent where I have discovered the path I lost. The path of fun, adrenaline, and just being a kid. I am still a kid after all despite my age. Only that, I am forced to be the responsible little adult because no one else in our house would take the position.  It's never been all fun and games. It was all about having to grow up soon, getting good grades or else, and taking care of other people. I was brought up to think that my needs are not important and that I am selfish if I thought otherwise.

Yesterday, I got out and about. I went on a road trip with my friends. They took me to a place where I've never been. I've always loved nature and just breathing the fresh air made me feel oh so relaxed. By the end of the day, after a few stops to take pictures, we arrived at our destination. 

It was a zipline adventure from one end to another with just a harness as your best friend. I don't know how long it would take to fall down but I was sure that if I did, I would be dead instantly. Curse gravity!

My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty. I felt like I would have an anxiety attack. Where did my deviant persona go? I could feel my legs shaking and my friend held my hand and said, it's okay - you can do it! Easy for her to say, it was her 3rd time to do it. 

It was the craziest, most remotely dangerous stunt I have ever done in the history of my existence. But when I was up there hanging for dear life, I felt a sense of freedom. I wasn't scared anymore. It was my moment to shout and let go of everything. It was just me and the wilderness. And so I did shout.  My friends don't know it but I was tearing up. Moments like that are so rare for me.

And as I launch myself for another round of death slide, I wished for the adventure to never end.

~myeviltwin