Love-ish letter

Dear you,

The pain is just plain unbearable, you see. I've always thought of us as an A couple, we may have been oddly inseparable in so many ways. But still, we were so attracted to each other because of our similarities which compensates for our differences.

I know I can live without you but it would just be as how Lord Voldemort lived a half life.

You know I'd kill a troll for you. I'd suck the life out of dementors with a vacuum. I'd have thestrals grow muscle and skin. I'd tame giants to feel as small as goblins and house elves. A boggart would instantly shape shift to my heart that only beats just for you. I know you're not much of a Harry Potter fan, screw you for that. 

In any case, you have been there for me all the way from hell to back. Did I ever tell you I often see you as that vampire named Edward from Twilight? You don't wear much make up and you're still a younger version of a virgin than him though. You make me feel all weak, you make my legs tremble, you make me feel like Bella. But then again, I have more brains than her. Why would I go off looking for a dead gay guy? And there's Jacob. Oh his muscles just explodes testosterone. You remind me of him in no way. I just wanted to emphasize your complete lack thereof of muscles.

In the end, here you are. You turn your back and you're ready to leave me. Romeo and Juliet could have not been as romantic as us. Niether can the witch of Portobello work her way in magic to conjure an everlasting love like ours. I hope ours was a walk you can remember forever. The alchemist cannot match the journey we have gone through. Now that you're gone, I'd like to decide to die but hell no. I would not do that for you. I just stated that to make this sound even cheesier. Then again, I wish you'd meet those 5 people in heaven after you lose yourself in depression.

And so love, as you jump of a bridge, crack your skull open, and die.
I wave both my middle fingers at you, goodbye. 

xoxo.

~myeviltwin